How do I use a clitoris suckers vibrator with my vulva-owning partner?

Why a Clit-Sucking Vibrator Is the Sex Toy Your Relationship Needs

Your partner will thank you.

It might be time to forget the old vibrator, everyone. Just kidding—don’t do that. But do recognize that sextech has evolved since the Hitachi Magic Wand came out in the '60s, and now there are clit-sucking vibrators for people with a vulva. We're talking about sex toys that simulate oral sex—it’s a revolution, and we are here for it.

To fully understand the magic of clitoris suckers vibrators, we first need to understand how orgasms work, physiologically.

Whether you have a penis or a vulva, "orgasm involves blood flowing and staying in the erectile tissue in the genitals, and then that blood being released by rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor," explains Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., Lelo sexpert and author of Becoming Cliterate. For penis owners, the erectile tissue is in the penis, and for vulva owners, it's in the clitoris (which extends up to 5 inches inside the body, BTW).

What exactly is a clitoris suckers vibrator?

A clitoris suckers vibrator works by using a combination of air, suction, and a little vibration to deliver orgasms on the fly. Companies like Womanizer, Satisfyer, and Lelo are the leading brands of the moment, making some of the best toys on the market.

Clitoris suckers vibrators come in all different shapes and sizes, but they all have some kind of nozzle, or opening, that goes over the glans clitoris (the part of the clitoris on the outside of the vulva). It then "sucks" on the external clitoris similarly to how a partner might use their mouth during oral sex.

Megwyn White, a sexual wellness expert and resident sexpert for Satisfyer, says that these toys “use an incredible wave-like pulse to coax the clitoris into orgasms that are off the charts. Many women say that this is unlike any other stimulation than they have ever felt and actually draws out the clitoris to play and partake in deeper levels of trust and surrender while inviting the whole body to open to receiving waves of orgasm.”

These toys also provide a less intense sensation than traditional clitoral vibrators, which can be overwhelming or too much for some, Mintz explains.

Cole adds that these toys have both ergonomic designs and are quiet, which are key components in couple’s play. You won’t be distracted by the buzzing of a vibrator and won’t run the risk of feeling #intimidated by a sex toy. It’s a win for everyone.

Start with foreplay.

As with any sexual situation—or physical activity—you'll want to start with a warm-up. Foreplay is so important. You should not, under any circumstances, be putting anything inside a person’s vagina without it being wet and ready (and with lube).

White suggests using some of your partner’s favorite all-natural lube or vagina-friendly massage oil to stimulate their clitoris manually. Stroke gently and consistently. When they're ready, place the toy over their clitoris. Up the intimacy with deep kissing and eye contact. This kind of play tends to be intense. Lean into that intensity.

Use the toy on more than just the clitoris. The suction of these toys means they can be utilized for other erogenous zones as well. “Have you ever tried to stimulate the nipples with it?” says Johanna Rief, Womanizer's Global Head of Communications.

Encourage them to breathe into their body and relax. This is all about them. “Breath is so important to getting a [person] to fully surrender to sensual pleasure and to draw out [their] deepest yearnings. Getting a [person] to drop into [their] breath, and ease into the sensual flow of [their] body can take some patience and priming,” White says.

Combine oral sex with a clitoris suckers vibrator.

Oral sex-like toys don’t mean oral itself is off the table. You can have your cake and eat it too. Literally.

Your mouth is magic, but adding in a toy is a whole other experience. “Oral sex offers an incredible means of activating orgasmic pleasure while also staying in the softer space of arousal to allow a [person] to drop more into [their] sensual embodiment,” White explains.

woman having an orgasm

Have your partner place the toy on their clitoris. Use your tongue to stimulate the rest of their vulva. Lick the labia, gently tease the vaginal opening, and even try penetrating them with your tongue. All of this helps to awaken the nerve endings in their clitoral network, greatly intensifying pleasure. “Hold the hand at the bum with a palm grip and use that hand to create a strong anchor to stay connected to the body and use the pc-muscles to unlock orgasmic energy,” White adds.

You can use your fingers to stimulate your partner's G-spot area. Place two fingers inside the vagina and hook upward toward the belly button. Rock against this area in a come hither motion. Remember to always communicate with your partner about how they are feeling and what feels good for them.

Use a clitoral suction toy during intercourse.

While using a clitoris suckers vibrator may sound a bit on the tricky side, it actually isn’t. Involving the external clitoris in your intercourse action makes sex better. “By activating the clit you naturally amplify the arousal of penetrative sex through engorging the area around the vaginal canal,” White adds.

The key is to find easy ways to keep the toy over the clitoris while enjoying intercourse at the same time. It’s not so different from bringing a handheld vibrator into the bedroom...just possibly more orgasmic.

The three easiest positions for clitoris suckers toy beginners are missionary, doggy style, and cowgirl. Keep it simple to start. You can always explore other positions later. To start, have your partner hold the toy against their clitoris. This way, they’ll know if it’s in the right place.

Your bodyweight can help hold the toy in place during missionary, while in doggy style, your partner can reach between their legs with the toy. The combined stimulation of clitoris suction and penetration can be downright explosive.

"In cowgirl, the [receiving partner] is sitting up, so [they] can use the clit sucker with [their] hands," Mintz says. "Bonus: You can play with [their] breasts and get full visual access to [their] body at the same time."

If you decide not to use the toy during intercourse, afterward is always an excellent option. “After penetrative sex is another way to include the clitoris suckers toy, especially if your partner did not orgasm during intercourse,” Rief says.

GIGI ENGLE

Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.

ZACHARY ZANE

Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.